oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
