what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
