I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize