if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
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i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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