it was like his penis was on wheels.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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