Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize