that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
