my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
