Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
