i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize