I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He passed out mid-signature
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
