the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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