Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
