fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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