Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
