TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards