I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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