Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
