i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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