So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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