just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
