i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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