fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
