Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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