I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize