remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
