I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
