I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
