If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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