every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Every concussion has its silver lining
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
