This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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