I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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