wat bout pragnant strippers??
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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