Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
