Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
where does the pee come out of this thing
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
