Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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