She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
