Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
