she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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