Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
