I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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