blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
