dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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