dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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