Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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