I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
