A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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