If that was your dad, he is hot
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
