when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
