nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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