I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Please don't give away my fajitas
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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