I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize