420 ftw
i just google imaged poop.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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