Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
