Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
