I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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